OK look, here is how I see it

2004-07-13T11:26:00.000-07:00

here we go folks, hang on for a bumpy ride!!!!

www.cnn.com

The Department of Homeland Security has confirmed that the Bush administration has discussed possibly delaying the November presidential election if there is a new terrorist attack.

The report, in Newsweek magazine and confirmed Monday, says the discussions were spurred by a letter from U.S. Election Assistance Commission chairman DeForest Soirees.

Newsweek says Mr. Soaries wrote Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge to suggest asking Congress for emergency legislation to allow postponing the election after any attack.

California Congresswoman Jane Harman, the Senior Democrat on the House of Representatives Intelligence Committee, called the plan excessive.

But the Republican chairman of the House Homeland Security Committee, California's Christopher Cox, told CNN Sunday the request was a prudent effort to plan for what he called "doomsday scenarios.

2004-07-08T11:58:00.000-07:00

For those of you who have not heard yet. On the fourth of July, in a hot tub, nestled on a mountain side near San Luis Obispo, while fireworks were exploding somewhere off in the distance, I pulled a ring out of my pocket and asked my lovely and amazing Alicia to marry me!

She said yes...

2004-06-29T17:02:00.000-07:00

Off to a yoga class, then to see Fahrenheit 9/11... A full report when I come back...

2004-06-28T22:36:00.000-07:00

So we are in the final few days before Alicia and I head down the cost to our mini vacation. Much needed I might add!! I have been broke for the last few months but have been working my ass off to get some jobs in. finally they are starting to come in, and I have been able to bring a few bucks our way, so to show my love for my honey I have booked us a small vacation. Here is our itinerary:

Leave Friday night just after Alicia gets off work around 3am so as to beat the 4th of July rush out of the cities. Get to LA around 10 or 11, have some breakfast along the way then hit our destination on the beach of Malibu where my friends have rented a beach house and will be leisurely hanging about for a few days. We thought we would join them seeing as how I miss the shit out of them!! we spend all day Saturday playing on the beach, drinking beer, and loving life. Sunday we drive back up the coast to San Luis Obispo where I father and his girlfriend have booked us a room at Sycamore hot springs resort, were we will have a suit with a private Jacuzzi on the porch, a fire place, personal massage, and yoga classes. We spend the night there, then in the morning have breakfast with the folks, the show Alicia all the places where as a child I got into trouble... This should be an interesting trip down memory lane.

Then I will take her for a hike up to the top of bishops peak where I used to clime as a child, and sit an day dream about her... We will then spend the next few days driving up highway 1 spending time on the beach and loving one another...

More news will follow upon my return...

2004-06-24T13:51:00.000-07:00

Today is starting off great. Its a glorious day out, not too windy and the sun is shinning. I should be working but it seems that most of my clients are taking there sweet time, so we ventured out into the world for a cup of coffee at our local coffee shop down the corner... The café is this little hole in the wall café/sandwich shop, owned and run by an Egyptian (not sure what nationality that is, but that’s were he is from) gay man, very pleasant and fun to be around, and just loves Alicia and I. I had coffee, she had tea and we split a bagel with fresh tomato, cucumber, and hummus on top, and a garnish of fresh fruit. The café is a funny little place because its located right in the middle of the tenderloin witch is a nasty area of SF that houses all the crack heads, junkies, prostitutes and homeless. So as you can imagine, smell real nice...

Now I am home and its back to my computer to try to finish my new site, hopefully that will be up in the next few days. This one kicks so much ass, I am very pleased with the way it's turning out.

Alicia and I are talking about renting a car and heading down to the beach the Saturday before the forth, so that we can spend some time with some of my favorite people in the world. The next day we will get up and head up the coast to San Luis Obispo to see my dad, then find a bed and breakfast by the beach up in Avila for the next few days. So totally thrilled about that. Hopefully we will see everyone down there.

2004-06-18T13:06:00.000-07:00

this is the beginning of my book I started writing a while back. I'll probubly scrap it but thought you might like to see it.

Can you tell me the way out? Can you show me the right path? Can you sit and listen to my reasons and tell me they are valid? Can you tell me that my childhood was stolen from me, and then let me place my head on your shoulder? Or will you mock me, tell me that I am wrong, or will you just leave? The sun will set soon and I will be sitting her again in the dark trying to make since of the demons that laugh at me while I contemplate the next steps to tomorrow. I’m not sure exactly what I’m doing, all I know is that this needs to happen, it needs to find a voice or the dream will get extinguished and I will be left with nothing. Sounds dramatic I know but why not?
When you live a life of drama and pain you start to find your thoughts traveling along the same path. I remember thinking that I should try to be more like the guy on the street with the smile and the non-existent care. He floats down the street and smells the flowers, he waves to passersby, and he doesn’t get mad when he is manipulated, its not important enough to get angry over. I have tried to be this man; I have tried to walk his path without tripping. “revel in who you are” I had this painted above my door for a long period of time. I wanted to see it every time I walked out into the world we share. I wanted to walk with my head up, knowing that I am a slacker, that I fail at love, that I live with sorrow and love it. Sure I can talk about all the successes I have but that is a different chapter, right now I am talking about pain

2004-04-13T11:50:00.000-07:00

Usually when I don’t post for a while its because I feel that there is nothing new to tell. When I think about that it kind of sounds silly... I mean how can you go through your day without doing anything new, without seeing something for the first time, having a specific feeling when walking down the street and the wind picks up, and instead of letting it cut right through your cloths you open up and let it in, closing your eyes, letting it lift you up and take you away... This happens at least once a day, maybe not in that specific way, but in some way it happens. So yeah, stuff has been happening, and at the same time it has not.

Woke up this morning and realized I don’t have anymore filters for my coffee. And determined not to go up the street and pay $1.50 for a cup O Joe, I dived right into MacGyver mode .

First attempt: Poor grounds into a cup and soak with hot water, then strain through a tea strainer into another cup. Coffee every where... 10 minutes clean up time.

Second attempt: put coffee in tea strainer and let soak in water. Tea strainer is for tea not small dust like flakes of coffee beans. Like drinking a cup of coffee mud.

Third and final: use TP as filter... Mmmm coffee

Happy boy now.

Been drawing a lot lately, I am even impressing myself. I'll post more stuff when I have it.

Any way, that’s good for now, I am going to go smoke, talk to you soon.

Congratulations Kate!!!

2004-02-23T11:48:00.000-08:00

Friend to all animals!

Alicia and I were walking down the street the other day and saw a man drop off a puppy in the park and take off. ASSHOLE!!!!! The puppy was totally happy for a moment, running and pouncing in the grass, then looked up and saw that there was no one around, then started to freak out. I run up to it and picked him up and carried him with me. He is a small black lab puppy around 12 weeks old. We got him home and he proceeded to piss and shit all over the floor, but after he got that out of his system he had a great day over at our house. We found him a good home and both of us feel like hero's to the dog community. another life saved!!! where the hell were the Karma Police when you need them!

2004-02-23T11:41:00.000-08:00

So to update you all on what's happening. We are in process of moving this week, we should be out by Saturday, yeah!!!

I finally handed my outline into my manager a week ago, and am still working on images for the character sketches. He is absolutely thrilled with how it is all coming out and has high hopes that it will at least be made into a comic book. Wouldn’t be a bad way to spend the next year, working on my comic book and getting paid for it. I think this year is going to be a very good one for me.

I will be heading down to LA around the 11th or 12th of next month for Hawks party and a few meetings, so I hope to see everyone then.

That's about it for now, if I think of anything else I will return.

2004-02-09T19:21:00.000-08:00

WE GOT IT!!!!!!!!!

We went and spent the day walking around the neighborhood today. some many cool little shops, and restaurants. we ate lunch at the great noodle house, I got the roast duck with rice flat noodles... MMMMMM downtown san fran is fucking awesome. then the guy calls us back and tells us we have it if we want. My day, my year just got a bit brighter. Now all we need is for every one to stop by for a visit at some point real soon.

2004-02-09T11:33:00.000-08:00

I need everyone's prayers on getting our new apartment today! Its a great little one bedroom in SF. Lots of light, hardwood floors and a cool manager. Oh please, please, please...

On a different note, it is absolutely beautiful out today, the sun is shining, the birds are doing their thing, and I should be out in it!

2004-02-09T11:07:00.000-08:00

got tickets for my baby to go see the Yeah Yeah Yeah's on her birthday next month!!!! very exited about this!!! also very exited about coming down for D mans BIG DAY next month as well. Wow wow happy days!!

2004-02-05T13:41:00.000-08:00

So I had this long conversation with my brother the other night about confidence and false confidence. He is a big fan of therapy, so it was this whole conversation about the pros and cons of therapy and self therapy. I had one experience with therapy and needles to say it was not a pleasant one, of course it want a normal one either. Just about the time I was explaining my fathers addiction to alcohol I realized my therapist was drunk! I had a good laugh about that, while others wanted to take her license away. I am not that militant in my actions, but to each their own.

So any way, therapy vs. self therapy. My point to him was that I have come a long way in my life where If I was more of a weak man I should be curled up in a ball under a table some were scared to go out of the house. I have fallen on my face many time and picked my self back up and brushed the dirt off, and pressed on. For this I feel has given me much confidence in my life to get the things I want and be the person I wish to be. If I am having difficulty being that person I feel the confidence in my will help guide me to make the necessary changes I need to get closer to that person. My brother responded with confidence is what wrong with a lot of our society, people are walking around with their chest puffed out, over prideful, and just overly confidant which in turn making them a bit dangerous or egotistical. I told him that this was a perfect example of false confidence. When you feel the truth you will know it, your body will tell you that what ever you are feeling is true or false. Then of course there are many different ways of convincing yourself that what you are feeling is false, and reasons why you we do it. And this is were the false confidence comes in and kicks your ass. Where if we were to just slow down, and listen to our bodies and what they are trying to tell us, its all laying right out in front of us all the time. Its actually pretty easy to take a look and see what your true feelings are about something, and once you get there its hard to mask it with the false aspect of life.

Just a random thought

2004-02-03T15:14:00.000-08:00

So, I got a new tattoo the other day, pretty happy about it. I wish I had a photo to post but I don’t. Its a large red day of the dead skull on the inside of my right arm. It has yellow teeth, and blue pin-stripping all over, and purple flowers in the eyes.

Mmmmmm I like new tattoos. I don’t recommend getting one the inside of the bicep though kinda felt like punching my tattoo artist, but he is bigger then my and doing my tattoo. Not a smart thing to do.

2004-02-03T11:44:00.000-08:00

Too much to do to write an in-depth log, but rest assured I will post something some time...

2004-02-03T11:42:00.000-08:00

Why is it that the heel of the loaf gets a bad wrap. No one likes the heel, in fact I usually throw the two heels away when I am done with the loaf. IT'S THE SAME THING. I thought about this as I was making my lunch today. Standing over a pathetic excuse for a loaf of bread. Two heels and a single slice. Now what am I going to do, either way I'm screwed. Either way I have to use a heel. I thought for a moment that maybe I'll cut the single slice in half and make a half sandwich... This would never appease my appetite. Quickly I moved into the judgment phase of my dissuasion. Which heel is the better one, which heel is going to act more like a normal slice of bread... what a dilemma... so I tossed the normal slice and made my sandwich out of the two heals. I have to say, that was a dame fine sandwich.

more like this at:
www.cardboardcastle.com/journal.html

2004-02-02T22:35:00.000-08:00

just tesing some shit out dont mind me.

2004-02-02T21:54:00.000-08:00

ok, so for all of you who would like to comment on my blog posting here ya go.